1.
"When
life
gives
you
lemons,
just
add
vodka
and
have
a
party!"
【#LemonadeStandFail】

2.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
enthusiastically
expressing
my
opinion. "
【#DebatesWithMyself】

3.
"I
walk
around
like
everything
is
fine,
but
deep
down,
inside
my
shoe,
my
sock
is
sliding
off. "
【#FashionFail】

4.
"My
parents
said
I
could
be
anything
I
wanted
to
be,
so
I
became
sarcastic. "
【#LifeGoals】

5.
"My
brain
has
too
many
tabs
open. "
【#StrugglesOfADigitalAge】

6.
"I
exercise
because
somehow,
completely
exhausting
myself
is
really
relaxing. "
【#FitnessMotivation】

7.
"I
always
carry
a
knife
in
my
purse,
just
in
case
I
need
to
peel
an
orange
or
defend
myself
from
a
killer
squirrel. "
【#Preparedness101】

8.
"I'm
not
great
at
the
advice.
Can
I
interest
you
in
a
sarcastic
comment?"
【#PepTalksWithFriends】

9.
"I'm
not
saying
I'm
Wonder
Woman.
I'm
just
saying
no
one
has
ever
seen
me
and
Wonder
Woman
in
the
same
room
together. "
【#SuperheroDreams】

10.
"I
hate
it
when
I
think
I'm
buying
organic
vegetables,
and
when
I
get
home,
I
discover
they're
just
regular
donuts. "
【#HealthyEatingGoneWrong】

11.
"I'm
not
lazy.
I'm
just
on
energy-saving
mode. "
【#NapsAreLife】

1
2.
"I
don't
get
hungover,
I
just
feel
like
crap
the
next
day. "
【#DrinkingWisdom】

1
3.
"I'm
not
procrastinating,
I'm
just
prioritizing
my
Netflix
queue. "
【#ProductivityHacks】

1
4.
"I'm
not
sure
if
I
have
a
free
spirit,
or
if
I
just
have
no
common
sense. "
【#LifePhilosophy】

1
5.
"I
used
to
think
I
was
indecisive,
but
now
I'm
not
sure. "
【#DecisionsDecisions】

1
6.
"I
have
a
great
memory,
it's
just
short.
Really
short. "
【#MemoryProblems】

1
7.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
explaining
why
I'm
right. "
【#DebatesWithFriends】

1
8.
"I'm
not
a
morning
person,
I'm
a
coffee
person. "
【#MorningRituals】

1
9.
"I'm
not
lazy,
I'm
just
conserving
my
energy
for
when
it's
really
important. "
【#EfficiencyGoals】

20.
"I'm
not
sure
if
I'm
in
control
of
my
life,
or
if
my
cat
is
secretly
pulling
the
strings. "
【#PetConspiracies】